Him: "But I've always been playing tennis on my own! I enroll in single's competition, practice for a single's match. So now...I have to play double with you? I'm really not used to it"

Me: "Why? It's still tennis! we still run and hit the ball. We just need more coordination with each other, and get the timing right so we can be compatible with each other's moves."

Him "That's difficult. I'm used to not having to coordinate with anyone or to think about timing because I have to make sure my partner and I make out the best move. I always do my own best move."

Me: "Then you'll have to compromise and get used to playing doubles. Unless...you want to play singles forever."  

Our tennis conversation turned out to reflect exactly what we are going through. He's been single for too long while I've always dated someone. Suddenly, this difference in "tennis/dating" style has caused our relationship much turbulence.  He hasn't quite comprehend the coordination/compromising part of being with someone, which is really one of the most important thing, be it tennis or being in a relationship. 

Here's an example: 

When I express my unhappiness that he has gotten home extremely drunk at 2am on the night before we were supposed to head out to Disneyland to celebrate his birthday, he came back with: You're just insecure that i'm out with my friends. As long as I can get up, so why not?

Well, it's not really a matter of why not. Sure he can. But in doing that, he hasn't considered how I'll feel - which obviously is, seems like you don't really care much about our plans? 

I understand. When we're single, we literally can be very selfish. We don't need to care about another's feeling, and who cares really if we stay out? There's no one waiting for us at home, no one to call us and see if we're ok. We really don't need to be responsible for any but ourselves.

BUT. a big but. When you're with someone else, you need to start being responsible for that person's feelings. Coordination. That would involve consideration of feelings, taking initiatives to be responsible and compromising. When playing a doubles game, if such coordination is thrown out of the window, it is sure to be guaranteed, unless of pure luck, that you would lose the game. When we lose, we both get hurt and it's not going to look pretty. 

He's been telling me he's not used to being in a relationship. The question is, how long should I give him to warm up to a double's game?

The process of waiting is nice, when you feel like you needed the wait. When life was a rush and you needed to stop for a moment, just to think and be yourself. The wait is then sweet and mesmerizing because you're immersed in the time that stood still.

But when you feel like you're ready to move and get back into action, waiting can be the most intolerable thing. Especially when this world moves at such lightening speed with all the different technologies and portals, waiting and be patient is really such a big virtue.

Unfortunately, there are some things that cannot be sped up by technology. Fate.

Meeting the one right person is just all about waiting and be patient.

I just need ONE person. I don't need a dozen of them coming in and out of my life, I'm tired of the search.

I just need ONE person. The one person at the right time of both of our lives.

Why is it that I always seem to meet the "almost" right person these days? Its exasperating, frustrating and just annoying.

You click, (or at least think you click) and everything else is right....except that he's not ready for another relationship because he just got out of one. Excuse? I don't know. Maybe its an excuse for he's just not that into me. But i'll give him the benefit of doubts.

Timing, is crucial.

After our last conversation (see the last post), he rang me up the very next day with a scary opening line.

Him: I have something to tell you and something to ask you.

Wow. What's the big deal? Turned out that he wants to tell me he's not ready for a serious relationship right now and he doesn't wanna mess with me (who says I want a serious relationship after seeing him for 2 times?). But he'll like to ask me when im free to meet up next week (what?? im really confused). What does he want?

My guy friend's perspective is: Don't trust anything he says but trust what he does. The only thing I can do is to control how I think and feel.

Straight on.